The Poet and Death

[drydem]

Ta'Om has showed up in three consecutive readings, after plenty of shuffling. Death has showed up twice. Part of me is wondering what this means. In fact, all of me is wondering what this means. I think when it comes down to it, it might confirm something that I've been wondering about for a while.
I have been thinking about taking some leave from grad school and trying to actually spend some time writing. I've got these ideas and such, but no time to write. Maybe I need to release the dream of PhD by 30 and try to do what I really want to do in my life, earn a living by telling stories.
I guess what it comes down to is that I am scared. It's a hard road to walk and I don't know if I have the courage to actually walk it. There's bound to be lots of failure on the way, and I would be giving up the potential for a straight shot through. But I think I might be able to do it on the same hand. I can write dialogue that snaps. I want to write like Nick Hornby. sigh, the brave yet dangerous path or the simple yet safe path.
I'm not burning any bridges yet.

Comments

[bneuensc.livejournal.com]

I've gone down the same path of thought many times, and I keep coming to the same conclusion. Not only does being in school keep me fed -- which there is no way I could depend on writing to do just yet -- I honestly think it helps my writing, despite also taking time away from it. I mean, if I weren't in school, I'd have to be working some other job, and that wouldn't give me the mental stimulation I get from my classes (okay, not all of them, but some); in fact, it would probably deaden my mind. And I don't think that writing all the time would actually be good for me in the long run. Grad school keeps me mentally flexible, makes me think about things in multiple ways at once. So yeah, it takes away time I could spend writing -- but I think it more than compensates me for it.

That sounds halfway to incoherent, but I can't phrase it better right now.