School and Stagnation

Back to school again tomorrow. I sincerely hope this is the last year that I have to say that. I have two more semesters to get through and they feel like wading through molasses. Until the point where I've finished the degree, every librarian job application will feel like a pipe dream and I really want a real job. I am so sick of being underpaid hourly. Especially with the potential that adjunct work has simply dried up for me.
I feel like this longing takes me out of life in many ways. I'm in a state of limbo, waiting for the real life to begin, preparing for the next stage, and it keeps me from being fully present in what's going on around me. With looming student loans at the end of the school year, I need to spend every month counting down the finances. That makes everything I do strategic. I have to plan every dollar, every day to assure I make it through. And that's exhausting.
And the most frustrating part is that I know I'll get through it. I have the endurance of a bull. That doesn't make it fun, though.