(no subject)

[drydem]

Let me clear up my enigmatic comment of earlier. Right now, I feel like the constant pressure of participating in game after game after game has made it so that I have not had a chance to connect with anyone in a non-game capacity for like a year and a half. If I can't find a way to integrate a social life in which I can make friends with the gaming that's being done then I am going to drop the gaming, because it is beginning to feel to me like an artificial social life.
When it comes down to it, I really just want to be able to have people over to my house to hang out and chat, I miss just hanging out with people as myself. It's not because I don't want to see gaming people, It's because I want to see the people, not the games.

Comments

[fallen-scholar.livejournal.com]

IMOHO, we've always had this thing. Remember the "date outside of the tribe" discussion? Quitting gaming isn't going to solve the problem, because it's not going to magically make your gamer friends into your non-gamer friends.

Besides, you can get stuck in the opposite situation, where all your typical gamer friends always want to do things other than the games at hand. I swear, sometimes I think that we live some sort of bizare backwards lives from one another, facing constantly the opposing sides of the issue.

So don't cut gaming out, but try to expand your horizions generally. It may mean cutting some gaming out, but there's no reason to cut it all out, especially because it's more than likely that you'll end up dragging some of your gaming contemporaries into the light of the outside world too.

[princess706.livejournal.com]

"date outside of the tribe"

Have you read Urban Tribes?
I ::heart:: that book...

[moonandserpent.livejournal.com]

Heh, you should read Cory Doctrow's "Eastern Standard Tribe". It's even free online somewhere.

[princess706.livejournal.com]

Fair enough, and I feel better. I hope you do too, and soon.

t-pot

[bneuensc.livejournal.com]

I see your point, but have a slightly different take on it, I think. It's true that much of my socialization, at the moment, revolves around gaming. But the reason for this is that I'm very very busy, and don't really have the time for hanging out and chatting that I'd like to -- I wish I did, but I don't. Gaming survives the time crunch because it's a scheduled thing; random hanging out falls prey to the "well, I'd like to, but I have this that and the other thing I should get done." And for me, quitting or cutting back on gaming wouldn't solve the problem; the newly freed-up time would only get sucked into the black hole of other things I need to do. This way, though, at least I'm guaranteed of seeing other people who aren't my classmates, my professors, or Kyle at least a couple of times a month. :-)

[kniedzw.livejournal.com]

I could say something snarky at this point, but I shall not. :)

In general, I think that Bryn's got a good point. Gaming for me is and always has been a social activity. While I enjoy it for its own sake, the reason I return to a game is the people, and scheduled social events tend to survive the "oh, darn, I have to bail" test a little better than random get-togethers.

[sarcastibich.livejournal.com]

Frankly, I'm kind of glad that you cleared your previous statement up. I was kinda miffed by it.

I know what you mean, I want to get to hang out with people and NOT talk about game or gaming. I want to get to know a lot of you guys better than I already do. There are a lot of facts and interests and beliefs that so many of us have that are so different, and I wish I knew about more of them.

I support your effort to have fun time that isn't about gaming. If/When I get time of my own, and if you are interested, maybe I will be able to take more active actions to support your proposal. *smile*

[drake-rocket.livejournal.com]

It's intresting you should talk about this because my article that I was going to interveiw you for (and still hope to) is largely about the community created by a large LARP.

But I dunno, for me personaly I don't think my lack-of-hanging-out-with-people has anything to do with gaming. It's just crippling and painful fear of social situations like calling someone and asking them if they want to hang out. Many of those who flock to our game (though by no means all) come from a certain amount of "nerd" background where-in thier social skills are not so developed. Talking about and being in game is something they are good at and it acts as a shield as I am sure you know. If you really do want to hang out with folks outside of it, then take the initiative. Call someone and say "Hey, feel like comming over for some tea and a game of checkers?". I don't think anyone dislikes out-of-game social events, I think they are just harder for some.

[gollumgollum.livejournal.com]

i haven't read your enigmatic comment yet, but i don't think i need to. as someone who had a crapload of people say "sorry, i can't come to your show, i'm gaming tonight" i know what you mean. i'm really having a lot more fun with my non-gamer friends (my band and their friends, for the most part) than with my gamer friends because almost all of my gamer friends talk about game *all the time*. i love gaming, but i love playing drums in a band and yet i would get sick of it (and boring to others) if when i wasn't playing drums i was beating on things and talking about how we wrote this new song yesterday or about how we had a kickass show three weeks ago. yet every time i see someone it feels like they say "hey, game game game game game game game." bleh.

i'm also kind of frustrated with the "if you don't like it, you should fix it" mentality, because it's hard to. i told some of my friends the other night that i was sick of talking about game all the time, and then we talked about game all night. and they were the friends i *like* talking about game with. it's hard to enforce the i'd-rather-not-talk-about-game-all-the-time climate when you're surrounded by people who like to talk about game all the time. i don't know *how* to fix it because i don't know *how* to get people to stop talking about game all the time, other than being a punk and throwing a fit.

i dunno. my two cents.

[solestria.livejournal.com]

i remember this sentiment going around lj a while ago.

i suggest we, the occupants of serenity, begin to hold a regular hang-out night. whoever wants to show up, can show up and socialize, and we can have a rule about talking about gaming (not necessarily none of it, but that if someone gets sick of all the game-talk, they can put an end to it). we could play card games, or talk, or whatever.

i feel like the main reason i go to games at this point is that i like the gamers, and i won't see them if i don't. i'm not even particularly involved in the games at this point; it's social time for me, and that's what everyone else is doing. so if we do something else instead, perhaps that would help.