(no subject)

[drydem]

I hate the way I often feel about myself. I really do. I hate spending an evening depressed and alone. I am not whining about this for sympathy. I am not saying that I want people to come cheer me up because that just leaves me feeling more depressed. I am venting. I am saying that I hate society for telling me that because my body carries some extra weight, because I am not a 32 waist, because I, despite diet and exercise changes, have never ever been anything but overweight, for those reasons, that I am a less worthy person. And I hate that people (including myself somewhat) have bought into that so much that I have spent the vast majority of my adult life single. Nobody gives me second glances and I hate that. I hate that. I hate it so much that I just want to hurt those who have dismissed me. I hate that even though I am intelligent, funny, caring and talented, because I am fat, people overlook me as a romantic partner. And I end up spending the evening depressed after seeing myself in the mirror. I hate that so much.

Comments

[solestria.livejournal.com]

*hugs* society can go to hell. i second sarah's comment about the snuggling thing. comfy teddy bears are far better than those. . . things that society tells me, to no avail, that i should be attracted to (you know, lots of muscle, body-builder types. . . i've never found those people sexy in the least).

and, btw, i've spent the vast majority of my adult life single, too.