(no subject)

[drydem]

I hate the way I often feel about myself. I really do. I hate spending an evening depressed and alone. I am not whining about this for sympathy. I am not saying that I want people to come cheer me up because that just leaves me feeling more depressed. I am venting. I am saying that I hate society for telling me that because my body carries some extra weight, because I am not a 32 waist, because I, despite diet and exercise changes, have never ever been anything but overweight, for those reasons, that I am a less worthy person. And I hate that people (including myself somewhat) have bought into that so much that I have spent the vast majority of my adult life single. Nobody gives me second glances and I hate that. I hate that. I hate it so much that I just want to hurt those who have dismissed me. I hate that even though I am intelligent, funny, caring and talented, because I am fat, people overlook me as a romantic partner. And I end up spending the evening depressed after seeing myself in the mirror. I hate that so much.

Comments

[princess706.livejournal.com]

I'd give you a second glance, but in the end it would kill us both. Or at least my husband would. And society as a whole sucks. And men who can snuggle beat the hell out of men who can't in every single way I can think of... and snuggle-ability has *nothing* to do with waist size.

Hurting stupid people unfortunately doesn't solve a damn thing. (Though beating them about the head with a Cheeto bag filled with walnuts will certainly make you feel better... at least temporarily.) If they think that way, then they'd never deserve to be with you in the first place because they're shallow bastards. ::hugs::

mE

[solestria.livejournal.com]

*hugs* society can go to hell. i second sarah's comment about the snuggling thing. comfy teddy bears are far better than those. . . things that society tells me, to no avail, that i should be attracted to (you know, lots of muscle, body-builder types. . . i've never found those people sexy in the least).

and, btw, i've spent the vast majority of my adult life single, too.

Reality?

[thekittyninja.livejournal.com]

Okay, so... I realize that coming from a guy, this means less, but there are those of us who do find you attractive. Please don't feel wierd about that.
Strangely enough, I wouldn't have put you in the fat category. I wouldn't have taken that into consideration if I were pondering your dateability. Its the newest scientific discovery, dateability.
Lastly, having a 32 inch waist, means shit. Society teaches some people that that works but I actually believe that the majority of it is fear propoganda, the exact thing you're talking about. Whether or not society's standards for attraction actually affect people and how they see you, we have to think as if they do. Fuck a duck. The tactic is not to make some people feel pretty and some people feel ugly. It makes everyone who gives in feel ugly and those who don't give in are not neccesarily the ones that look the way they "should".
I'm not sure anything I'v said has been relevant but I can tell you that having said 32 inch waist means shit when you look into the mirror. You can be happy with what you see regardless of society or your weight. Perhaps I had the upperhand on this as growing up I seemed to have the wrong genitalia (boys don't like boys, I should be a girl) and having got through that, I'v come to the belief that liking what you see in the mirror has far more to do with what you think about yourself before you even look.
And you're hot.

Cat

Style

[teleidoplex]

Y'know, it's odd. Not that ranking systems are all that keen or anything (actually, they pretty much stink), but in my personal ranking system of the people I know, you'd be high on the list of those I think are attractive. A lot of it has to do with the fact that you're incredibly intelligent, fun to talk to, pleasingly eccentric, etc. A lot of it also has to do with how you look. You have a tremendous amount of style, and you know how to *really* execute a look and an attitude. I see a resemblance between us in the way that we both usually frump around in comfort on the day-to-day level. When we really want to look smashing, however, we do it with what I think (not even remotely modestly) is a great amount of skill and panache. It's one of the things I admire so much about Shawn, Ryan and David. I think that you have that same quality. Now, this may just be because I have a weird sexual attraction thing going on with Jack the Ripper (don't ask!), and obviously this isn't a come-on because I'm happily with David, and worked hard to become so. I'd also just add that I've spent most of my adult life single. I honestly think that finding someone to share life with has a lot more to do with luck than with looks.